The following is reflection from August 3, 2017 in my personal spiritual journal.
“The Lord by wisdom founded the Earth; by understanding he established the Heavens; by His knowledge the deeps broke open and the clouds drop down the dew.”
I was out of sorts tonight; WAS. I knew it was time to seek His face rather than be in misery. I was suffering from loneliness and was unable to fulfill my needs for attention and love. This made me annoyed with the people I tried to get it from and in turn made me feel even more lonely. I could feel that little pull in my heart of Jesus calling me to have my heart satisfied in Him. I find it interesting how most of the time I read something in the Bible other than what I intended, and what words I in my finite mind perceive to need. Tonight, I was headed to several Psalms, including 68. The Psalms have proven to be of great comfort of late. Unwitting to its effect tonight, I first stopped in Proverbs 3. Of the verses written (written previously, Proverbs 3:19-20), this is what powerful truth began to soothe my heart. Though it can be interpreted a number of ways, from His purpose tonight in my heart it meant this:
HE KNOWS ME, AND HES WISE ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT I NEED WHEN IM HURTING. the same God who was wise enough to make all of this (the world; creation) knows every single detail of me. And out of that same wisdom He is able to give me precisely what I need. And everything else aside, there’s just comfort in knowing that He knows me and what I am feeling. I almost hear Him say “You see how wise I am? I’m wise enough to make all the earth. Your problems are simple for me; I see you, and I know precisely what to do.” HE UNDERSTANDS HOW I FEEL. Adding a layer of grace to infinite wisdom He here reminds us of His understanding. I can find 2 levels. The first level is this: He understands my feelings, and the pain that they can bring because He’s felt them all before. He’s felt loneliness, and at a greater level than I have, and will ever have to. So when I say “I’m lonely Lord”, he understands. The second dynamic and equally if not more comforting is this: I think of it like a math concept; there is a difference between having knowledge of it and understanding it. Not only is Jesus smart enough to know me, He is able to understand me, just like He is all of creation. INFINITE KNOWLEDGE. He knows absolutely everything about me. He knows how many tears is cried, and how many hairs are on my head. He knows things as silly and simple as my favorite cereal, to things as big as my deepest needs and fears. And perhaps this is redundant but this infinite knowledge comforts me. He knows what makes me mad, what makes me cry, what makes me laugh…He just knows me…completely, and not one thing is missing. All of this reminds me of how much…HE CARES. Sometimes in the heat of the moment we feel like He does not care about our pain because He can seem distant and far away, even when we cry to Him, or because He often does not instantly deliver us. Oh for a heart that never struggled with this thought another moment for He does care so much. This is clear from the fact alone that He beckoned me to Himself in my great distress. How precious that He spoke to me from His living word, and gave me the wonderful contented peace that I’m feeling now. A peace greater than simply the absence of fear or distress. Oh for a heart that never questions and always clearly senses the intimate nearness of God to His child. For He is not far away. He is very close. What a time of beauty spent before the throne tonight as my mind has all this time been filled with Him…(it took me about 2 hours to write this by hand originally). I no longer feel the need for attention and love as I did before. No longer feel lonely or in need of anything…I will go now and fall asleep at the feet of the King, for He has been with me all this time. May I and all who read this bless the Lord’s name and find grace…the grace that He gives to all of His children, for He is so very wise, and good.
…and to think I only read Proverbs 3…
I hope you have enjoyed reading this reflection from several years ago. It is so good to look back and see the grace that He gave. It is good to reflect on the faithfulness of God through the years we have known Him. I encourage you to take some time this week and reflect on what He’s done throughout the years as He has worked in and with you on your journey. As I sit and write this addendum, I write it from a place of fullness of heart. Remember what Ecclesiastes states. There is a season for everything under Heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1) . As I write this I write as someone who has seen restoration, and will still see it, from the years that the locusts have stolen. As I write this, I write as one redeemed from many things and with the realization that not one ounce of suffering has been in vain, and not one tear has been unnoticed by my Father. Time changes…life ebbs and flows…but the Savior about whom I speak, the One who’s name I live to lift, He is sovereign, and never changing, and very, very kind. He holds our whole world, and just as He was faithful then, He will be faithful. To gray hairs, and beyond the grave, He bears that which He has made (Isaiah 46:4) . Come now lift up the name of Jesus, our King of grace. I bless you all in Jesus name.
With very great love,
P.S., reach out to me and let me know the results of that reflection on your past. I want to hear the stories of how Jesus has saved and overcome in all of your lives.